Karen Toms

Woman on a beach with pale pink fabric veiling her face, evoking the real self obscured by long-term shapeshifting

When You’ve Shapeshifted for So Long, the Real You Gets Hard to Find

Notebook, Roots & PatternsSeptember 8, 202645Views 0Likes 0Comments

A follow-on from my earlier post on shapeshifting, this piece looks at what happens when the pattern has run for years and become second nature. I explore why the question ‘who am I?’ becomes genuinely hard to answer, and why ease and joy can feel just out of reach.

Collage of figures walking outdoors in autumn light across city streets and paths, benefits of time outdoors for mental health

Why Twenty Minutes Outside Could Change How You Feel

How We Live, NotebookSeptember 3, 202647Views 0Likes 0Comments

As the hours of daylight shrink, this is a good moment to look at what regular time outdoors can offer. Drawing on research and what I see with clients, plus a personal thread back to my own MSc dissertation, I explore why even twenty minutes outside can ease anxiety, sharpen focus and lift your mood,…

Woman standing composed on a train platform, motion blurred around her, embodying stillness amid surrounding movement

Lacking Confidence Even When You’re Competent and Capable

Notebook, Quietly AmbitiousSeptember 1, 202646Views 0Likes 0Comments

Imposter syndrome showcases the gap between your internal experience of yourself and the competent, capable person who shows up to work. But sometimes the label itself is a ready-made story, easy to reach for, that doesn’t hold up when you actually look at the evidence.

The One Who Knows the Answers But Is Too Afraid to Speak

Notebook, Quietly AmbitiousAugust 27, 202662Views 0Likes 0Comments

If this title resonates, you’ll know that visceral reaction of deliberately holding your answer back, even when you know it’s right. This post explores the two versions of biting your tongue, where the fear comes from, and the real cumulative cost of staying silent.

Moving Meditation

How We Live, NotebookAugust 25, 202676Views 0Likes 0Comments

So often people try traditional, seated meditation, find it doesn’t suit them, and give up on the idea altogether. But not all meditation means sitting or lying still. This post introduces moving meditation, two kinds to try and why movement might be the entry point you’ve been missing.

Fragmented black and white portrait, a woman's face and hair broken into vertical strips, evoking the disorientation of gaslighting

Gaslighting: The Reality Behind the Buzzword

Notebook, Roots & PatternsAugust 20, 202679Views 0Likes 0Comments

Gaslighting has become a bit of a mainstream word, something people say without fully understanding it. This post goes behind the buzzword to explore what gaslighting actually is, how it exists on a spectrum, and why it’s often so hard to recognise from the inside.

State Change

Book Recommendations, How We Live, NotebookAugust 18, 202676Views 0Likes 0Comments

I honestly can’t remember exactly how I found this book, but it’s been on my list to recommend for a while. State Change was the first book that laid out many of the elements of holistic health I’d already been thinking about, and it feels timely now, with the summer days running down and so…

Woman looking away in soft, moody light near a window, reflecting on the inner critic's voice around eating patterns

The Inner Critic and Your Eating Patterns

Body & Self, NotebookAugust 14, 2026100Views 0Likes 0Comments

When your inner critic is a dominant force, eating patterns are often where it shows up most. This post is the latest in the eating series and looks at what the critic actually says, where its stories come from and how it drives the fears explored earlier in the series.

Woman gazing upward and outward in warm contemplative light, reflecting on who her perfectionism performs for

Who Are You Being Perfect For?

Notebook, Roots & PatternsAugust 12, 202688Views 0Likes 0Comments

Perfectionism can be like an invasive species, showing up quietly across every part of life. This post looks behind the striving to ask a different question: not what your perfectionism is, but who you’re actually performing it for.

mountain and lake landscape at Cradle Mountain, Tasmania, evoking a sense of awe and stillness

Awe in August

How We Live, NotebookAugust 7, 2026107Views 0Likes 0Comments

Awe is a word I like and a concept I’d like to explore more from the vastness of nature to a cormorant catching a fish on an ordinary morning and how to bring more of it into everyday life, long after summer ends.

Warm summer collage of lemons, coastal shoreline and striped textiles reflecting the pressures of fear of food in summer

Fear of Food and the Weight of Summer

Body & Self, NotebookAugust 4, 2026115Views 0Likes 0Comments

Having a fear of food isn’t something that’s restricted to summer, but this time of year can definitely strengthen it for many people through eating out, counting calories, fearing certain foods, and the pull of the scales.

A woman resting in warm light, head bowed, illustrating a post about burnout and perfectionism

Burnout and the Perfectionist

Crossroads, NotebookJuly 28, 2026129Views 0Likes 0Comments

This is the final post in the burnout series. Perfectionism has shown up throughout – in the drive to keep going, the fear of being seen to fail, the inner critic that doesn’t rest even in recovery. In this post it sits right at the heart of the matter: why perfectionists are especially susceptible to…

When You’ve Shapeshifted for So Long, the Real You Gets Hard to Find

Why Twenty Minutes Outside Could Change How You Feel

Lacking Confidence Even When You’re Competent and Capable

The One Who Knows the Answers But Is Too Afraid to Speak

Moving Meditation

Gaslighting: The Reality Behind the Buzzword

State Change

The Inner Critic and Your Eating Patterns

Who Are You Being Perfect For?

Awe in August

Fear of Food and the Weight of Summer

Burnout and the Perfectionist

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