A follow-on from my earlier post on shapeshifting, this piece looks at what happens when the pattern has run for years and become second nature. I explore why the question ‘who am I?’ becomes genuinely hard to answer, and why ease and joy can feel just out of reach.

Gaslighting has become a bit of a mainstream word, something people say without fully understanding it. This post goes behind the buzzword to explore what gaslighting actually is, how it exists on a spectrum, and why it’s often so hard to recognise from the inside.

Perfectionism can be like an invasive species, showing up quietly across every part of life. This post looks behind the striving to ask a different question: not what your perfectionism is, but who you’re actually performing it for.

Not being praised as a child doesn’t always leave an obvious mark. There’s no clear wound to point to – just a quiet absence, and the patterns it quietly shapes. In this post I’m exploring what balanced praise actually does for a child’s developing sense of self, and the two adult patterns I regularly…

If you’re a fawner, the chances are you’re also an expert orchestrator, managing situations, preparing for every eventuality, trying to influence what happens around you. This post explores what’s really going on underneath that pattern, and why it keeps you trapped.

Harsh self-criticism is often regarded as a strength but what if the voice doing the criticising isn’t even yours? In this post I explore where the inner critic comes from, how to recognise when it belongs to someone else, and how to begin creating space for a kinder, more honest voice.

On my website Notebook, I share insights and reflections about mental health, wellbeing, and counselling. My aim is to offer helpful information in an accessible way, drawing on my studies, professional work, and personal experience. Think of it as giving you a glimpse inside my own notebook — a place where ideas and understanding come together.…