Notebook Archives - Karen Toms Counselling

The One Who Knows the Answers But Is Too Afraid to Speak

Notebook, Quietly Ambitious4 days ago27Views 0Likes 0Comments

If this title resonates, you’ll know that visceral reaction of deliberately holding your answer back, even when you know it’s right. This post explores the two versions of biting your tongue, where the fear comes from, and the real cumulative cost of staying silent.

Moving Meditation

How We Live, NotebookAugust 25, 202635Views 0Likes 0Comments

So often people try traditional, seated meditation, find it doesn’t suit them, and give up on the idea altogether. But not all meditation means sitting or lying still. This post introduces moving meditation, two kinds to try and why movement might be the entry point you’ve been missing.

Fragmented black and white portrait, a woman's face and hair broken into vertical strips, evoking the disorientation of gaslighting

Gaslighting: The Reality Behind the Buzzword

Notebook, Roots & PatternsAugust 20, 202642Views 0Likes 0Comments

Gaslighting has become a bit of a mainstream word, something people say without fully understanding it. This post goes behind the buzzword to explore what gaslighting actually is, how it exists on a spectrum, and why it’s often so hard to recognise from the inside.

State Change

Book Recommendations, How We Live, NotebookAugust 18, 202646Views 0Likes 0Comments

I honestly can’t remember exactly how I found this book, but it’s been on my list to recommend for a while. State Change was the first book that laid out many of the elements of holistic health I’d already been thinking about, and it feels timely now, with the summer days running down and so…

Woman looking away in soft, moody light near a window, reflecting on the inner critic's voice around eating patterns

The Inner Critic and Your Eating Patterns

Body & Self, NotebookAugust 14, 202663Views 0Likes 0Comments

When your inner critic is a dominant force, eating patterns are often where it shows up most. This post is the latest in the eating series and looks at what the critic actually says, where its stories come from and how it drives the fears explored earlier in the series.

Woman gazing upward and outward in warm contemplative light, reflecting on who her perfectionism performs for

Who Are You Being Perfect For?

Notebook, Roots & PatternsAugust 12, 202660Views 0Likes 0Comments

Perfectionism can be like an invasive species, showing up quietly across every part of life. This post looks behind the striving to ask a different question: not what your perfectionism is, but who you’re actually performing it for.

mountain and lake landscape at Cradle Mountain, Tasmania, evoking a sense of awe and stillness

Awe in August

How We Live, NotebookAugust 7, 202662Views 0Likes 0Comments

Awe is a word I like and a concept I’d like to explore more from the vastness of nature to a cormorant catching a fish on an ordinary morning and how to bring more of it into everyday life, long after summer ends.

Warm summer collage of lemons, coastal shoreline and striped textiles reflecting the pressures of fear of food in summer

Fear of Food and the Weight of Summer

Body & Self, NotebookAugust 4, 202676Views 0Likes 0Comments

Having a fear of food isn’t something that’s restricted to summer, but this time of year can definitely strengthen it for many people through eating out, counting calories, fearing certain foods, and the pull of the scales.

A woman resting in warm light, head bowed, illustrating a post about burnout and perfectionism

Burnout and the Perfectionist

Crossroads, NotebookJuly 28, 202694Views 0Likes 0Comments

This is the final post in the burnout series. Perfectionism has shown up throughout – in the drive to keep going, the fear of being seen to fail, the inner critic that doesn’t rest even in recovery. In this post it sits right at the heart of the matter: why perfectionists are especially susceptible to…

The Shy Child

Notebook, Quietly AmbitiousJuly 23, 202688Views 0Likes 0Comments

Were you a shy child? Or perhaps this was something that other people told you you were? Have you ever thought about the impact this had on you? Perhaps, it's been so much a part of your foundations that you've never stopped to reflect on how it has underpinned how you feel about yourself. I…

Saltwater in the Blood

Book Recommendations, How We Live, NotebookJuly 21, 202696Views 0Likes 0Comments

Found during my MSc Psychology dissertation research on coastal wellbeing, Saltwater in the Blood is one of those books that stays with you. Easkey Britton weaves memoir, academic insight and a deeply personal relationship with the sea into something lyrical, honest and a page turner. You don’t need a personal connection to the coast to…

Soft shadows of leaves on a muted green textured wall in natural light, illustrating a post about childhood messaging and eating patterns

How Childhood Messaging Sets Your Eating Blueprint

Body & Self, NotebookJuly 14, 202699Views 0Likes 0Comments

If you’ve lived with eating issues for any length of time, you’ll know how all-consuming and exhausting it can be. In this post I’m exploring the childhood messaging and early experiences that often underpin a difficult relationship with food and why improving that relationship is rarely about food at all.

The One Who Knows the Answers But Is Too Afraid to Speak

Moving Meditation

Gaslighting: The Reality Behind the Buzzword

State Change

The Inner Critic and Your Eating Patterns

Who Are You Being Perfect For?

Awe in August

Fear of Food and the Weight of Summer

Burnout and the Perfectionist

The Shy Child

Saltwater in the Blood

How Childhood Messaging Sets Your Eating Blueprint

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