In previous posts, I’ve explored why you might be vulnerable to burnout and why recovery takes longer than you think and in this one, I’m going to explore what can happen next.
You may have removed yourself from the situation that was the catalyst for your burnout. You may think you’re taking time to rest. But you’re not moving forwards. Life still feels like a struggle and you’re not back to your old self yet.
Why rest is harder than you think
Coming to terms with the value of rest can be really difficult for people with burnout and there are multiple reasons for this. Firstly, burnout is typified by being stressed, anxious and overthinking plus sleep can be impacted. It’s hard to relax when your mind is racing which means sitting still or doing activities which previously helped might be hard to do now.
Once you have removed the stressor which you think caused your burnout, such as leaving your job or breaking up a difficult relationship, rest can remain out of reach. This is because people who burn out usually weren’t very good at relaxing before it happened. These are often people who feel guilty sitting still. Are always on the go. Or just never chill out.
Those who burn out are used to striving forwards, even at the expense of themselves. This insight is the crux of the issue. So, the first piece of recovery can be simply learning that rest is valuable for the mind and body and now is a good time to lean into it.
What rest does and what it doesn’t
Rest, including good sleep, is essential for wellbeing. Too often it has been overlooked by a society that celebrates the value of continually pushing forward. Solid rest helps to regulate your emotions, reduce stress and improve your mood. It also allows our body to better manage hormones, toxins and the immune system which can all negatively impact your physical health if left unchecked.
Rest, therefore, is always a good decision. It’s not being lazy or ducking responsibility. It’s looking after yourself and your wellbeing – it needs to be honoured.
That said rest alone won’t mean you recover from burnout. Lack of rest can contribute to why someone burns out but it’s not a root cause. So, alongside appreciating the value of rest, it’s important to explore the patterns of behaviour and mindset that brought you to this point in your life and why they exist.
The patterns rest doesn’t fix
Burnout has a tendency to stop the clock. It can be debilitating for a time. And whilst it’s understandable to want to get through this discomfort as soon as possible, this enforced pause can have much value.
Being burnt out leads to one crucial word – why. Why did this happen? Why did it impact me so badly? Why don’t I feel better yet?
And when you take time to peel back the curtain behind these questions, that’s when you begin to see the underlying drivers which have got you to this point. These drivers are patterns which have built up over the years to create conditions ripe for a catalyst to drive you into burnout.
If you really look at what has been propelling your need for achievement and your drive to keep pushing through, what do you notice? Is it a perfectionist’s fear of mistakes? The inner critic’s constant berating? The fawner’s shapeshifting and people pleasing? Has your self worth become tangled up with achievement so badly that you fear stillness?
Saying ‘yes’ to any or all of these questions is common for people with burnout. These are the patterns that rest cannot fix.
These patterns served you for a long time. They helped you achieve, perform, be relied upon. They have become part of your personality. But they reached their limit – and burnout is what happens when patterns which once worked stop working.
Recognising these patterns is the beginning of the work. You can’t change what you can’t see. And once you start to see, you can begin to ask what’s driving them, and what life might look like if they weren’t.
Values and operating outside them
Understanding the value of rest for mind and body and then recognising the patterns which underpinned your journey to burnout – and why you don’t rest – often leads people to an evaluation of what’s important to them. Revisiting what there are values can be a very helpful part of this.
Often, it’s when people have drifted too far from their values or are operating in a system which doesn’t align with their values that issues bubble up. Recovery is the chance to name what matters, what doesn’t, and what kind of life and work feels congruent.
Patterns can be a response to your circumstances and the people around you. Values are yours to decide and to guide your choices. Circumstances can throw you off course from your values and this is the ideal time to address where this has happened and navigate yourself back to a course which you can decide.
It’s an opportunity to be honest about what you really want to be central in your life and what has been a casualty of your relentless pushing forwards, not taking time to rest, and being at the mercy of other people’s moods and demands.
What’s possible and how quickly
By setting your foundations in rest, values and nurturing thought and behavioural patterns, it can be possible to move forward from burnout in a more congruent, sustainable way.
Big changes don’t have to all happen before this can begin. Letting go of the catalyst that caused the final crisis such as leaving the job or ending the relationship, will help to reduce the anxiety cycle and open space for pause and reflection. Having time to breathe and reconnect to things you enjoy and people you like spending time with is also helpful alongside the more self-explorative work.
It’s about doing things differently moving forwards but that doesn’t have to be doing everything right now. I’m always surprised how quickly shifts can start to happen when clients can move beyond their wired state and start reflecting. I’ve seen how people can pivot quickly when they see the benefits.
This doesn’t mean that it’s all plain sailing. Recovery from burnout consists of good days and bad ones. It’s not linear. It’s more about a series of small recalibrations than a wholesale overnight change.
Recovery that holds
Recovery from burnout that holds is recovery that combines taking the time to rest with the inner work of reflection and then building a more honest platform for the future.
If this is not the first time you’ve burnt out, it’s not failure. It may simply be that the underlying patterns of thinking and behaviour haven’t been examined yet. The work is doable and worthwhile. Change can be quicker and more valuable than you think.
And on the other side can be a way of being and living that is much more truthful to who you are.
If you’d like to read my other posts about burnout you can find them via the links below.
Burnout: Why You Might Be Vulnerable
Burnout Recovery – Why It Takes Longer Than You Think
Fawning and Burnout – When Being Accommodating Backfires at Work
