A holiday is, understandably, something to look forward to. A change of scenery. A break from everyday life. A time for indulgence. And if life has been a bit difficult recently there’s the hope that time away will fix how you feel.
In the busy run-up to a holiday, it’s easy to get caught up in organisation and packing and be distracted from what’s been on your mind. But the issues you’ve been dealing with don’t get left behind once you’ve locked the front door. They’ve been neatly packed in your suitcase to come along for the journey.
Hope for a great escape
I sometimes have a chuckle with clients before they go away on holiday. They often say something like ‘oh I’ll have a break from everything’ or ‘I just want to run away’. And the chuckle is a shared acknowledgement that it’s often only the geography that changes and not how they’re feeling.
Holidays come laden with hope. The sense that we’ll switch off. We’ll be more present and relaxed around our partner, friends or family. Perhaps the wish that we’ll feel better in our bodies when we’re away from the stress of work or home life. There’s a lot of hope that mounts up, which we usually don’t have time to reflect on before we leave.
What actually comes with us
Holidays can give us room to switch off from the grind of the everyday but relief from our mindset is not usually as easy to come by. Because our critical thought patterns and anxiety don’t necessarily let up just because we’re not at home.
Holidays can highlight our dissatisfaction with ourselves and those around us. Ramping up the battle with our body image because we’re in lighter summer clothing. Exposing issues in family dynamics or difficult relationships. Putting us in new scenarios which are outside our usual comfort zone. All of this can impact how we see ourselves and how others behave around us.
Why travel can actually reveal more, not less
Whilst travel removes some of the obstacles of our daily routines, it can also remove the distractions that we’ve been hiding behind. Without our usual avoidance mechanisms, issues we’ve been denying may suddenly be on display.
Added to this, holidays can give us more time to think. More time to reflect on how life has been treating us and what we want to change moving forward. Depending on who we’re travelling with, the dynamics with those around us can intensify. It can mean we’re more conscious of ourselves and our issues whilst on holiday than we are when we’re at home.
What people bring back
When I see clients after their holiday they frequently tell me that there’s been some kind of shift. Away from the mundane of everyday life, perhaps they’ve had time to connect with their partner, to relax and chat to each other a bit more than usual. Or maybe they’ve made a decision about something. Perhaps something small that they want to change or commit to. It could be a shift we’ve been discussing in our sessions that they now feel ready to make.
Of course, not everyone is in therapy before they go on holiday. But issues that are exposed when someone is away can be the catalyst that causes them to reach out for some counselling support. To finally put themselves first and address issues which have been bothering them for a while.
Alternatively, it could simply be that the holiday has provided a chance to reflect on what’s going well at home and what needs some adjustment.
A few thoughts before you go
Of course, breaks and time away from home are important. They give us space to step out of the demands of everyday life. But in that space, things we’ve been trying hard not to feel can surface.
Going on holiday with some awareness of what might come up can be a good thing. It can encourage you to build in time to rest whilst you’re away and do things that genuinely nourish you. This can help you enjoy the break for what it is, even if your issues do show up.
I hope you do get some time out this summer and that its impact can be helpful and restorative.
