There are many different ways I’ve observed people disguising themselves with clothes. One example which stands out is of a personal acquaintance I hadn’t seen for a while who had started wearing head to toe black on repeat. This change occurred following a big loss of weight and I couldn’t help but wonder what had prompted them coinciding. The cliche is that people typically want to show off their bodies more after losing weight, but this woman was disguising herself. It felt as if she was trying to hide or trying to erase herself.
Why we reach for black
Perhaps it’s the fact that I often wear black myself that means I tend to notice people in and out of my practice room who choose to wear all black. Sometimes it might be part of their look, think heavy metal t-shirt or gothic blouse and black jeans. Sometimes it might be comfy loose clothing or outfits that have become their ‘uniform’.
Historically, I know that I was more drawn to wearing black when I was in a low mood. Knowing how that felt influences my habit of wondering what is really driving someone’s all black outfit. It’s sometimes assumed that people wear dark colours to hide parts of themselves they’re not happy with. So, I’m often curious about whether they are trying to disappear, or is there something specific they want to hide?
Black can be a hard colour to wear in terms of its impact on someone’s complexion. It can drain the complexion, and, in my experience, has the potential to drain your energy too. The heaviness of the colour can hold the heaviness of the mood in place.
Clothes as disguise… and as armour
Using clothes as a disguise isn’t just about hiding your identity. It can also mean wearing clothes as armour which separates you from the world. Sometimes we dress to be seen in a certain way that may or may not be congruent with who we really are and what we feel inside.
I’ve definitely amped up what I’m wearing at times ahead of a difficult meeting, especially if I’m feeling a little anxious. In those instances, it is I guess my form of ‘power dressing’ – wanting to feel smartly dressed and as comfortable as I can in my clothes, so I don’t have to worry about them.
Clothes as armour take a different energy to dressing to hide. It takes work. In this context, we dress to be seen in a particular way – armoured to be the version of ourselves we want the world to see – which might be very different to the one we are at home.
I notice it sometimes in the way people wear heavy make-up and feel naked without it. Make-up takes time and effort and it can be like putting on armour, altering how you look to feel more at home in public.
In these instances, the armour of clothes and make-up is deliberate. It’s considered. It takes a certain mental headspace. Armouring requires energy and this is difficult to do when you are depleted. It’s not that clothes as disguise is bad and clothes as armour is good. It’s that they’re both protective strategies, and which one you reach for can tell you something about where you are.
The comfy rut
I’m most likely to notice people who are in a clothes rut. This is an observation, not a criticism.
The rut might be wearing the same outfits on repeat, perhaps clothes they don’t even like. It might be clothes which aren’t representative of what they historically wore but they are ‘comfy’ right now. Comfy might be representative of how they are feeling mentally, physically or both. It might show up as comfortable fabrics such as exercise leggings or loose layers.
But what I observe about comfy is that it often looks uncomfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable in your body, I think you can become detached from your physical form and clothes can lose their appeal. If you’re at war with your body or living in your head, thinking about what you’d like to wear or what clothes might make you feel nice stops being possible.
This can happen even if you historically loved clothes. You might be someone who has a wardrobe filled with gorgeous clothes you no longer wear but reach for the same couple of outfits each time. It can also be about not investing in clothes that feel good because you don’t feel worthy of them.
The rut can be the most identity changing disguise of all. It can be a representation of how much you have lost who you were.
What your clothes might be telling you
Clothes are an important barometer of how we’re feeling and one that I believe doesn’t get enough emphasis. We all wear clothes each day. They’re fundamental to how we present ourselves to the world around us.
I’ve shared a few examples of how people use clothes to disguise themselves that might provide some food for thought. Do clothes make you feel good or are they representing what’s going on behind the scenes which might need some attention?
