No two therapeutic journeys are the same. Some are brief and powerful. Some are long and ongoing. Others evolve over time in different chapters.
And that’s just as it should be because none of us have the same life story. Even if we grow up with siblings, our emotional journeys will not be the same as our brothers or sisters. It’ll be our own individual experience of the world and it’s just the same with therapy.
What you bring to therapy might not be the main event
It’s quite common for someone to decide to start counselling with one issue in mind. For example, this could be anxiety. But when they start sharing their story, this might open into a wider spectrum of things, like issues with poor body image or debilitating perfectionism. These are issues which have been sitting behind the scenes. Often they’re things they don’t speak about to other people or acknowledge to themselves. It can be a profound relief just to have someone to talk to about this and to begin gaining an understanding of their journey.
Differing therapy at different life stages
The therapy you do in your 20s can be very different to sessions in your 50s. In your 20s, you’re still learning who you are and what life’s all about. A client might need more support with naming and processing their emotions than they do when they come to therapy in their 50s. Work with an emotional wheel might be helpful or a more focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) approach may be beneficial. Someone in their 50s may have real self-awareness but still feel stuck, so the work shifts from naming to unravelling. A more Gestalt approach which helps them better understand emotions in their body, or some psycho education to help them unravel unhelpful patterns may be the key to creating positive shifts.
Sometimes a short burst of therapy is all you need
Some people might only need to see a therapist for a short burst of sessions. It may be they want to explore a key event that’s taken place, such as the breakdown of a relationship or grief after a bereavement. Or it might be the case that just having a place to get some perspective on the events they’re currently dealing with is all they need. Sometimes, this might be a once in a lifetime experience or they may return to therapy again for a short time at intervals over the years.
Your way to do therapy
There’s no right or wrong way to do therapy. It’s easy to hear someone else talk about their experience and wonder if you’re doing it correctly, or whether you should be further along. But therapy isn’t comparison, it’s your personal journey. What matters is whether it’s the right time for you, whether the approach suits how you think and feel, and whether you feel comfortable with the person sitting with you. Those three things — timing, fit, and relationship — make the difference. I’ve personally found that different therapists have been helpful to me at different times during my life. Sometimes the therapist who was right for you at one point in your life isn’t the right fit later on.
Each therapy journey is unique, whether it’s long or short, consistent or in occasional chapters. One of the gifts of the process can be learning to celebrate your individuality. So be open to your therapy journey being as individual as you are.
