When did we stop treating the body as home?
‘Your body is your home’ is one of my favourite sayings. Our body is the basis of everything and this helps me check in with how I’m feeling and what my body’s telling me. It’s not a saying that’s commonly used and that got me thinking… What if people gave as much attention to their body as a home as they do to their house or flat?
So many people are at war with their bodies, self-critical and desperate for theirs to look like someone else’s. How would it be if more people treated them as their home?
A disconnect from our bodies can happen at a young age, especially if you’re in an environment where appearance is valued or you’re not sporty. A casual remark from someone can have a big impact. It can stop someone’s love of movement in its tracks or make them focused on their appearance and what they’re eating.
Ballet is a strong example that has influenced scores of women negatively, especially if their bodies were not naturally the slim ballet aesthetic. Growing up in a household where dieting is a central feature is another example that sets up messages like ‘thin is desirable’ and ‘food is a treat’ rather than food is nourishment and essential for good health. These messages frame the body as something to be managed or criticised rather than inhabited with care.
The impact of external influences
Alongside this is the impact of external influences. How our bodies are regarded. How they compare to how other bodies look. How self-conscious we feel when we are around other people. We may dress to please others or dress to blend in. Or we may hide our bodies under layers in a bid to disappear. But whilst we’re so focused on the external, it’s easy to neglect what’s actually happening inside our bodies.
In my counselling work and personally, I hear people speakng critically about their bodies, whilst speaking excitedly about their house or flat. They may be completely disconnected from their bodies but completely invested in their homes.
Just like when you create a nice house or flat, it can take time and effort to build a connection with your own body. This is especially the case for people who live in their minds, are anxious or full of self-criticism. But it can be such a valuable process to work on.
Coming home to your body
A good starting point is noticing what your body has to say by checking in with yourself. You’re likely to make your bed each morning but do you check in with how your body feels after sleep? How are your energy levels? How’s your mood? Are there any aches or tightness that could benefit from a few stretches? Don’t be dismissive of the answer — instead be curious about what’s going on. By the end of a week, you could have a little pattern of information to work with.
Join up body and mind
Start to use these patterns to join up the connection between body and mind. If you find yourself feeling low, stressed or anxious, take a moment to think about how your body is feeling. Where are you experiencing sensations in your body? Where’s the heaviness? Is it feeling the same today as last week or is it different?
How we move, how we sleep, what we consume – online and offline – and other factors can all influence how we feel. But do you take into consideration that what you’re doing with your body also impacts your mind?
Thinking of food as nourishing or as fuel can also be a helpful way to build connection with our body. We are complex machines and what we put into our system matters. Small acts like preparing our own food, taking time to eat without distractions and chewing our food thoroughly all help create moments of presence with our bodies.
Movement as homecoming
Engaging with movement can be the most powerful route to tending to our relationship with our body. The simple act of a few stretches can help us remember we have joints and muscles that need our care. Yin yoga is a great example. It involves poses held for a few minutes at a time and can really help you connect to the sensations in your body and experience how tension can be released using breath and stretching. Or simply walking and counting your footsteps or listening to your breath can help you build your fitness whilst connecting with your physical home.
Your body is your home. Just saying these words a few times a week can help you think about the care you’re giving to yourself. If it helps, think about the care you put into having a nice house and how that compares to the care — real care — you’re giving to yourself. It takes an investment of time and energy to care for any home. But, caring for your body could help create real improvements in your mental wellbeing and self-worth. Why not choose one small thing to focus on and be curious about it.
