I worked in a clothing store for 15 months and learnt an enormous amount about body image, self-esteem and the impact that clothes can have.
I served people who were feeling uncomfortable in their bodies and hiding behind their clothes. And assisted others who had lost confidence due to changes in their shape and wanted to get their love of fashion back again.
Looking after customers as they used the changing rooms meant I saw a lot of discomfort, self-criticism and self-apology. I rejoiced when people left the shop after finding something that made them feel great. And longed to achieve that for everyone.
It’s always an inside job
Obviously now being a therapist, I’ve learnt that I can’t make anyone else feel better about their bodies. Or how they feel in their clothes. As with everything, it’s always ‘an inside job’. But with my understanding of clothing, I know that when you’ve lost touch with yourself, or your body doesn’t feel like it’s working with your mind, your wardrobe becomes another source of stress.
Why spring feels harder
As we emerge from the winter months, spring often feels like a natural reset point as we cast off our heavy raincoats and look forward to wearing lighter clothing. But, it can also bring with it a new level of stress. We become concerned about showing off more of our bodies after a winter of hiding under layers and bulky clothes.
We can feel compelled to buy new items or pressured to try shapes or seasonal shades that fashion companies promote. Then there’s the noise from influencers and social media accounts. They might encourage us to dress for our body shape, or to conform to what everyone else is wearing now.
This can lead to anxiety and stress about keeping up with what we ‘should’ be wearing. It can be hard to stay connected to our own style, and which clothes we actually feel good in. Ultimately, it can be difficult to stay true to ourselves and what works for us.
Staying true to yourself
So, as the days become brighter, perhaps you can think about small changes. Are there little updates to what you wear, or how you feel about your appearance, that would make you feel more yourself? It could be the tiniest of changes to start with. Clearing out a few things you haven’t worn for years. Or investing in a item in a colour that makes you feel great, regardless of whether it’s from this season’s colour palette.
This isn’t about following trends or looking good for other people. It’s more about whether what you’re wearing reflects who you actually are. When there’s a disconnect between how you look and who you are inside, this can show up as low-level discomfort all day long. The right clothes and accessories can actually help us feel at ease and express our personality.
In future posts, I’ll be exploring how appearance intersects with some of the issues I work with in my practice – perfectionism, body image, and self-esteem. What we wear matters. Not because it needs to be perfect or follow norms, but because it’s one of the ways we show up in the world.
