This is an extract from one of my favourite client testimonials:
“I find working with Karen great fun – she brings humour and intelligence to our session and I always look forward to speaking with her.”
It’s also a reason why some clients have been drawn to working with me.
Mental health issues are unfortunately often regarded as dark matters. There is still shame and stigma attached to seeking out help and therapy sessions are often regarded as heavy, serious and intense.
In this post, I’d like to provide some insights into the value of humour in therapy and show how sessions can also be light and enjoyable.
Humour has history in therapy
Laughter was promoted by Sigmund Freud over a century ago who regarded it as a beneficial ‘release valve’ for patients1 . One that could help them to shift their energy around difficult thoughts and release anxiety. Albert Ellis, whose work was a precursor to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, promoted the use of humour as an antidote to the type of seriousness that people can experience when life feels difficult for them2 .
People who score positively on the Multidimensional Sense of Humour Scale3 typically have good levels of optimism and self-esteem, whilst those with negative scoring demonstrate psychological issues such as low mood.
More recently, the field of positive psychology has shown humour and laughter can have a positive impact on wellbeing and health.
Humour is part of being human
Humour is quite simply part of being human and in relationship with others. That’s one of the reasons why I value its place in my counselling practice.
Humour used carefully can help a client to relax in the early stages of therapy and help to build rapport. It can also be used to help strengthen the therapeutic relationship once it is established. I often find it useful when working with clients who have challenges with perfectionism. It can shine a light on where they are taking themselves too seriously or demonstrating irrational thinking.
Humour can be signal of how clients feel
A client’s humour may also offer clues to how they are feeling. Humour can be a disguise for shyness or nervousness. Used at the expense of themselves, it can also be a sign of low self-esteem. It can be valuable for clients to reduce how they are undermining themselves with humour and learn to use more positive and supportive language to speak about themselves.
Humour may be something that clients cannot draw on in early therapy if their mental state is depressed or they have high levels of anxiety. This means that when a client starts to laugh or use humour in sessions, it can be an indication that their mental wellbeing is improving.
Giving clients breathing room
Humour can serve as a foil for heaviness. When I notice a client might be struggling with a particular issue, it can be helpful to give them a break by diverting the conversation to a lighter, brighter topic. That’s not to say we steer away from the difficult subjects. Rather there is a balance between talking about issues which might be hard for them to process and issues they’re more enthusiastic about.
A review of studies found that the use of humour in therapy consistently supported improvements in depression and anxiety4, and I have found this to be true in my client work. I laugh regularly with my clients. I have seen how it helps to reduce tension, encourages the client to trust their instincts, and supports their growth.
A case story with burnout
This testimonial below is from a client who selected me based on the quotation at the start of this post.
They were drawn to my use of humour because they felt they had lost their own sense of humour and wanted to get it back. I supported them as they recovered from workplace burnout and came to find fun in life again.
“I’m so glad I chose Karen. Her calm and supportive approach gave the space I needed to understand what was happening for me, and to gain a valuable perspective on interactions I was having with other people.
Her gentle humour was something I appreciated, and found the experience of several months of weekly sessions highly valuable while managing a difficult time.
I also appreciated her curiosity about the possible underlying issues, and her openness made it very easy to speak about uncomfortable topics.”
Humour used gently, not forcibly
I like that this client experienced my humour as being gentle. Some therapists might regard humour as inappropriate or unhelpful. I’m aware that if used clumsily, a client may feel mocked or that they need to withdraw. Caution is also necessary with clients who have suffered from their experience of the dark side of humour. This might be present if they have been bullied or have borne the brunt of family jokes.
Humour is not a distraction from the therapeutic process, rather it is part of it. Used with care and sensitivity, it can ease anxiety, strengthen connection and signal growth. It you’ve been put off seeking therapy because it feels like a daunting or heavy process, I hope this post reassures you that it doesn’t have to be. There is space for lightness and laughter alongside the deeper work.
If you like to read more of my client testimonials you can find them via the link below:
https://karentoms.com/counselling-testimonials/
1 Freud, S. (1963). Jokes and their relation to the unconscious. W. W. Norton. [English translation of Freud’s 1905 book]
2 Ellis A. Fun as psychotherapy. Rational Living. 1977; 12(1): 2–6.
3 Thorson, J. A., & Powell, F. C. (1993). Development and validation of a multidimensional sense of humor scale. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 49(1), 13–23. https://doi.org/10.1002/1097-4679(199301)49:1%3C13::aid-jclp2270490103%3E3.0.co;2-s
4 Sarink, F. S. M., & García-Montes, J. M. (2023). Humor interventions in psychotherapy and their effect on levels of depression and anxiety in adult clients, a systematic review. Frontiers in psychiatry, 13, 1049476. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.1049476
