Why food can feel overwhelming at Christmas
Food and drink are a central part of the festive season. The supermarket aisles are laden with food for indulgence and sharing, and the coming weeks tend to involve gatherings and parties where eating and drinking are the main focus.
If you struggle with disordered eating, food will be central to your life all year round. Whether your disordered eating patterns are restriction, bingeing, purging or your own set of food rules, food will be something you usually think about a great deal.
The universal emphasis on eating during the festive season can mean noise and pressure around food can ramp up. I see the distress some of my clients experience as they approach the coming weeks with a mixture of anxiety and dread. It’s important to remember that many people feel this way so you’re not alone in finding this season difficult.
What makes the festive season so challenging
There are a variety of factors that come together to make the festive season a perfect storm for disordered eaters.
Firstly, the holidays usually create a change in routine. This can mean they are unable to follow the patterns and rules they usually rely on in day-to-day life.
Socialising and spending time with other people can put physical appearance and eating patterns on show. Some of my clients with disordered eating prefer to eat alone or at home. This means navigating events the food available is unknown or they are pressured to eat can be very stressful. Other clients have social anxiety and body image issues which are triggered by having to attend events.
Many people spend time over the holidays away from home, where it’s difficult to prepare their own food because others are cooking for them. It’s common for disordered eaters to be secretive about their eating habits so being in these situations can be incredibly stressful and anxiety creating.
Eating to excess is often encouraged at this time of year, and many seasonal foods are rich, sugary and readily available. For somebody who tends to binge, these types of food are often the foods they binge on, so it can be a particularly hard environment to navigate.
Eating issues often begin during our formative years around family members and the environment in which we grew up. The festive season can mean we need to spend time in places which were instrumental to how our disordered eating patterns formed. Therefore, we may be walking back into challenging situations.
Each disordered eater has their own combination of factors which can reduce their reliance on coping strategies and make the festive season stressful. All of this can make someone feel as though the tools they usually depend on are suddenly out of reach.
Creating your festive season coping toolkit
A key thing I encourage people with disordered eating to do during festive season is take extra special care of themselves. Here are a few supportive ideas you might explore as you prepare for the holiday:
– Maintain gentle structure where you can with regular meals and food you know support you.
– Plan ahead for known challenges such as difficult environments and eating out.
– Use grounding and self-soothing practices before / after meals or events.
– Prepare a support script for yourself or a few phrases you can use.
– Set boundaries when you are able to such ‘I’m not hungry right now but thank you’.
How loved ones can support you
This might not be possible but support from family members or friends can make this time of year a little easier. If you feel able, you might share a few things that would help you feel more comfortable.
One of the best things someone can do to support a person with disordered eating is to avoid shining a spotlight on their eating habits. People often comment on food or bodies without realising how much pressure it can add, so a little awareness can go a long way.
Another supportive thing you might encourage someone to do is to be relaxed around you and respect your boundaries and choices around food. It’s great if they can avoid talking about diets, policing food or body comments. This may help to reduce some of the stress and anxiety you feel.
If you need time out from gatherings to rest or go for a walk, encourage them to let you have your space. Compassionate and neutral support is the best gift they can give.
A final thought
The festive season can be an especially challenging time if you struggle with disordered eating, and this is really understandable. Changes in routine, social pressure, emotional triggers and old family dynamics can all make food feel overwhelming. By taking gentle care of yourself, planning for the moments that feel hardest, and leaning on even one supportive person, the season can become more manageable. However things unfold, you deserve patience, understanding and compassion from others, and from yourself.
