Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, a day that celebrates romantic love and encourages us to go on dates. Today, I’m inviting you to take yourself on a date because the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.
When was the last time you took yourself out? Not to run errands, go to the supermarket, or kill time between appointments, but actually taking yourself on a date.
What’s a date with yourself?
In her famous book, ‘The Artist’s Way’, about developing creativity, Julia Cameron recommends committing to a weekly ‘artist’s date’. She encourages readers to take themselves out to places that inspire them such as an art gallery, an exhibition or a new shop.
The artist’s date is a cornerstone of Julia’s work and something people find valuable long after they’ve read the book. And with over 5 million copies of this book sold and it being one of the most commonly mentioned in my work, that’s a lot of people.
The premise of the artist’s date is also relevant if you want to improve the relationship you have with yourself. It’s an opportunity to treat yourself with care and consideration. To do something for an hour or two a week, simply because it brings you pleasure.
A key aspect of this date is that it takes you out of the house or office. It’s important you choose something you genuinely enjoy. This is not something you think you ‘should’ do – or that might look good on Instagram. It should be blocked-out time when you’re not scrolling or checking messages on your phone because being present for yourself is what it’s all about.
Why a date with yourself matters
Taking yourself on a date is a powerful act of self-friendship. It’s a way of showing yourself that you’re worth time and attention. It can help you reconnect to things you really enjoy but have lost touch with over time.
I know many people will initially be resistant to the idea of taking themselves on a date, even for 20 or 30 minutes. They’re likely to say things like ‘I don’t have time for that’, ‘I’d feel guilty’ or ‘I don’t like spending time by myself’. But what I’d tell them is to be curious about why they are having this reaction and what might be sitting behind it. I’d also say that becoming comfortable in your own company can be really valuable and ask why you feel you don’t deserve this treatment.
I first became familiar with this concept when I read ‘The Artist’s Way’ myself. Over the years, it has become more of a date with myself. For me, it might be lunch in a favourite cafe with my journal or visiting an art exhibition. When I go on one after a gap, it’s always a great reminder of its value. It helps to clear my head, reconnect me to things I enjoy and inspire me to do it more. I also feel like I get some time back because sometimes we get into a busy tunnel and think we have no time for anything. But, it’s usually the case that taking time out for something we enjoy gives us chance to reflect and fuels us for getting more done.
The invitation
So, my invitation for the week ahead is to:
– Take yourself on a date
– Choose something that gives you pleasure
– Length of time – 30 minutes – 2 hours
Suggestions
A few suggestions to get you inspired:
– Morning coffee at a cafe with a book or journal
– Browse a bookshop or antique shop
– Visit a gallery or museum
– Walk somewhere beautiful
– Afternoon tea just for you
– Sit in a park and people-watch
The key
– Do it alone (this is vital!)
– Do it intentionally, not because you had time to kill
– Notice what it feels like
What would a date with yourself look like this week? I’d love to hear what you choose.
