Introduction
We all carry stories about ourselves—some we keep inside, and some we share with the world. These stories can shape how we think, feel, and navigate our lives, but not all of them serve us well. Sometimes our inside stories are critical, harsh, or outdated, whilst our outside stories may present a very different version of ourselves to others. Changing your story through counselling can help uncover where unhelpful narratives come from and find new ways to write a kinder, more supportive version of yourself. In this post, I share the story behind my brand concept Inside / Outside Stories and explore how counselling can help you move forward.
My background is in marketing so ensuring my practice‘s brand identity reflects my ethos about counselling and work with clients was important. I chose Meta Mentveld, a designer I’ve worked with for several years whose strength is identifying the stories behind an organisation and bringing them to life visually. She created a concept I love so I thought it might be nice to share the story behind my brand.
Meta gave my brand concept the title Inside / Outside Stories because it is based on storytelling and dialogue. A key thing I shared with her about my work is that I help clients to change their story. This includes the stories they tell themselves internally, the stories they share with the outside world and their life story.
Healing Your Inner Dialogue: Understanding Inside Stories
The stories people tell themselves internally can be incredibly powerful. When I meet some of my clients, they have inside stories which are punishing them relentlessly. They frequently believe that the critical harshness of their stories is a good thing. For example, if they are striving for perfection, they might be using their stories to push themselves to achieve the best. Or if they have low self-worth, the stories may be helping to reinforce how awful they feel about themselves. If the stories are internalised versions of what others told them historically, they might be an outdated way of keeping themselves safe.
Part of my role is to help clients to bring these negative inside stories into the counselling room and to uncover their origins. By identifying the root causes of these stories and the role they are serving, they can explore whether they are still useful. Often someone’s inside stories are having the opposite effect to the one they intended. Instead of helping them grow and develop in the direction they are aiming for, their stories are keeping them stuck. Together, we explore how best to make their internal dialogue more supportive and develop a new narrative.
Aligning Inner and Outer Self: The Impact of Outside Stories
Outside stories represent the stories we tell others and how we are in the world around us. Often if someone’s inside stories are not serving them, they may be presenting a very different appearance externally. There can be a significant disparity between how someone feels about themselves and what even those closest to them know.
People pleasers, for example, may tell others what they think they want to hear. Or someone may present as confident and successful to friends and colleagues, whilst their inside story is the complete opposite.
Keeping up with all these relentless inside stories and contrasting outside ones can mean someone is hiding their true self, not just from the world, but from themselves. I frequently witness how the battle between someone’s inside and outside stories is keeping them caught in an unhelpful pattern. One which can maintain challenging issues such as anxiety, depression, disordered eating and low self-worth.
Changing Your Story Through Counselling: Rewriting Your Personal Narrative
Clients often reach out to me when they want to make significant life changes. They may be at a crossroads, feel they are not fulfilling their potential or want to make changes before a new life phase e.g. motherhood. The changes they make to their inside and outside stories during our work together, can help change the course of their life. Developing stories which are supportive and representative of the life they want to lead can shift how they think, feel and behave. Stories really are that powerful.
A Symbol of Growth: The Significance of the Upward Line
Meta utilised a line in my logo and other elements of design work to represent a boundary and demarcation. She decided that the line could have a number of illustrative meanings.
Your skin is literally the boundary between your inner and outer world and the stories you tell yourself and others. A line between two worlds.
It can also represent a boundary that can refer to:
– your old / new story
– yóur story / someone else’ story (like your mothers’)
The line marks a new begin in changing your story. Leaving behind what you don’t need and entering a new phase. And the direction of the line is significant as it represents an upward trajectory e.g., ‘life is on the up!’, ‘my self-worth is growing’ etc.
Conclusion
Changing your story with the support of counselling is about more than letting go of old patterns. It’s about creating a kinder, more supportive narrative that reflects who you truly are. By exploring both your inside and outside stories, you can uncover what no longer serves you and begin shaping a future that feels more authentic, empowering, and hopeful.
For more details about my designer, Meta, and her brilliant work, please visit https://www.metamenkveld.nl.
If you’re ready to explore your inside and outside stories, uncover what’s holding you back and start shaping a more authentic path forward, please feel free to get in touch.
